On a rainy December night in 2015, Dawn and I drove up to a house on the river to find a man with a pony tail filling a U-Haul. Normally, this would be a red flag and we would keep driving-but I needed answers. We pulled up, rolled down the window and asked if he was the tarot card reader Groupon had told us about. “I am. Come in”. Despite literally everything telling us to not go into that house, we did. And I haven’t regretted it to this day.
Something you should know about me is that I am a believer in all things weird, mystical, spiritual, cosmic, universal, superstitious, fluffy and cute. The way I see it, believing in things unexplainable makes unexplainable things a little easier to swallow. So it was only natural for me to be sitting in a mans patchouli scented basement while he read my cards on a makeshift table.
At this point of my life, 2015, I was confused. I had no direct career path and I couldn’t make sense of anything. I had nothing to lose so what the hell! Tell me my future, oh pony tailed man.
After 1 hour of flipping cards, scratching his head and apologizing, he told me that by the end of 2016 I may have uncovered a path I want to travel. I was told that I wouldn’t be sure, or positive, or even confident but to keep an open mind. He gave me hope that maybe, by the end of 2016 I would rub my eyes from their sleepy trance and see something in the distance worth my chase. I held on to this. It gave me courage. It is the reason everything to follow happened.
Today, more than a year later, I can say he was right. In October of 2016 I left a job I was comfortable in and started down a new path. I took a job with a traveling Beauty Service company. No benefits, a 50% pay cut, no office…all that was fueling this jump was a prayer that I didn’t just royally fuck up and a belief that there is something else out there looking out for me.
As you all are probably aware, it didn’t exactly work out for me. I could sit here and write an entire post about how I shouldn’t have left my comfy job with the great boss, vacation time, 401K, benefits and my own space (ugh) but I am not going to. Because I haven’t regretted my choice for even one second. Thanks to my move, I found an industry I loved to be in and a job (at the time) I hardly considered work. I’ve always loved all things beauty, but don’t have the talents to do hair or makeup and this was my in. With this job I had the ability to use both my people skills and my creative skills every single day. I loved it.
The jump was dictionary definition of a blessing in disguise. My job offer at the traveling beauty service company is the only thing that pulled me away from my paychecks I was so comfortable with. It also forced me to go on my Fiancé’s insurance, which is the exact thing that gives me the freedom to just keep driving. I met people who have turned into friends and will forever be a part of my life. I found an industry I could settle in to and stake my claim in. I got ballsy (Victor would be proud) and spoke up. I didn’t always look for reassurance in my capabilities because suddenly, I knew I could do it and that was enough. I kept doing it. I got one step closer to that me I always write about. That unapologetic, bad ass, confident version started to show face. I guess that is just what happens when you find your blueberry.
And because I believe that everything happens for a reason, I believe that if we never pulled up to that house that day in December, I may have never taken the leap. It is that day that kick started my journey, filled my tank with gas and reminded me cruise control isn’t for everyone. Had I never took the leap, I may still be walking around groggy eyed looking for something to grab on to. But we did. Now, as my pony-tailed future man told me, I can see my path in the distance and I’m heading down it. I collected a few lemons along the way, but they all turned into their own version of lemonade.
I will just keep driving-high beams on and lemonade in the cup holder. Sights set on my next adventure.